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New Brain

A teenager is in his room playing around like a five year old. Then his parents enter. And sit down on either side of him.

Dad- Son, your mother and I have been thinking about this for a long time and weve come to a decision.

Mother- Yes honey, and we think its for the best.

Son- What is it?

Dad- Well, your mother and I think it would be for the best if we got... boy this is hard... if we got you a new brain.

Mother- Yes we think is best that we got you a new brain.

Son- Why do I need a new brain?

Dad- Well son, youre 16 years old, but you act as if youre sixteen yeas old.

Son- But I like the brain I have now.

Mother- You may like the brain you have now but...but we dont.

Dad- Its quite simple my simple son, we dont want to be known as the parents of the town loon.

Mother- And we dont want you to end up...starts crying ... end up living with us until we die.

Dad- Thats why were going to buy you a new brain.

Son- Will I have to have surgery?

Mother- Well of course my dear.

Dad- How else would the new brain get inside your tender skull.

Mother- Dont worry honey, just let the doctors take care of that ok.

Dad- No! No doctors, Ive thought this through and decided that Im going to put the brain in by myself.

Son- Really?

Mother- Why would you want to do that dear?

Dad- Because I dont trust those doctors!, and... its less expensive.

Mother- But do you know how?

Dad- No problem... Ill just get one of those "do it your self" kits

Mother- But can you get those in brain form?

Dad- Why not, you can dye your hair at home, you can see if your pregnant at home, why cant you install a new brain in the comfort of your own home?

Mother- I guess youre right.

Dad- Of course Im right.

Son- When am I going to get my new brain.

Mother- Well I already went looking around, and I think I found one thats just perfect for you.

Dad- Wait, did you just say that you went brain shopping with out me?

Mother- Yes, I went with out you.

Dad- I thought that we were going to look at brains together!

Mother- No I hate going shopping with you, everything is either too expensive, or not good enough, and you always put on too much cologne.

Dad- So!...I need to smell good.

Mother- Plus, you would have picked out some ugly, brute brain from the bargin brain basket at Bob's Brain Barn

Dad- I guess your right...You can pick out the brain, if I can put it in.

Mother- Deal !

Son- Why cant I pick it out, and put it in brain?

Dad- Youre too stupid to.

Mother- And once the old one is out, How would you get the new one in?

Son- I dont know

Dad- See! Your too stupid to.

Mother- Im so excited I just cant wait, Im going to get the brain now. (Exits)

Dad- Great!, Ill go to the garage and get the saw, ...and duct tape! (Exits)

Dad comes back with saw, saw's off top of son's head

Dad- Oh no, I forgot to get the "do it your self" Kit

Adam Johnstone