New Brain
A teenager is in his room playing around like a five year old. Then his parents enter. And sit down on either side of him.
Dad- Son, your mother and I have been thinking about this for a long time and weve come to a decision.
Mother- Yes honey, and we think its for the best.
Son- What is it?
Dad- Well, your mother and I think it would be for the best if we got... boy this is hard... if we got you a new brain.
Mother- Yes we think is best that we got you a new brain.
Son- Why do I need a new brain?
Dad- Well son, youre 16 years old, but you act as if youre sixteen yeas old.
Son- But I like the brain I have now.
Mother- You may like the brain you have now but...but we dont.
Dad- Its quite simple my simple son, we dont want to be known as the parents of the town loon.
Mother- And we dont want you to end up...starts crying ... end up living with us until we die.
Dad- Thats why were going to buy you a new brain.
Son- Will I have to have surgery?
Mother- Well of course my dear.
Dad- How else would the new brain get inside your tender skull.
Mother- Dont worry honey, just let the doctors take care of that ok.
Dad- No! No doctors, Ive thought this through and decided that Im going to put the brain in by myself.
Son- Really?
Mother- Why would you want to do that dear?
Dad- Because I dont trust those doctors!, and... its less expensive.
Mother- But do you know how?
Dad- No problem... Ill just get one of those "do it your self" kits
Mother- But can you get those in brain form?
Dad- Why not, you can dye your hair at home, you can see if your pregnant at home, why cant you install a new brain in the comfort of your own home?
Mother- I guess youre right.
Dad- Of course Im right.
Son- When am I going to get my new brain.
Mother- Well I already went looking around, and I think I found one thats just perfect for you.
Dad- Wait, did you just say that you went brain shopping with out me?
Mother- Yes, I went with out you.
Dad- I thought that we were going to look at brains together!
Mother- No I hate going shopping with you, everything is either too expensive, or not good enough, and you always put on too much cologne.
Dad- So!...I need to smell good.
Mother- Plus, you would have picked out some ugly, brute brain from the bargin brain basket at Bob's Brain Barn
Dad- I guess your right...You can pick out the brain, if I can put it in.
Mother- Deal !
Son- Why cant I pick it out, and put it in brain?
Dad- Youre too stupid to.
Mother- And once the old one is out, How would you get the new one in?
Son- I dont know
Dad- See! Your too stupid to.
Mother- Im so excited I just cant wait, Im going to get the brain now. (Exits)
Dad- Great!, Ill go to the garage and get the saw, ...and duct tape! (Exits)
Dad comes back with saw, saw's off top of son's head
Dad- Oh no, I forgot to get the "do it your self" Kit
© Adam Johnstone